{CHRISTMAS 2016}.... I have always LOVED Christmas, from the time I was a little girl and the love for it has not dimmed over the years. The music, the decorations, the excitement in the air makes giddy like a small child. This year I really wanted to teach my children that Christmas is more than just christmas lists and presents under the tree. It is so much more even though I find myself getting caught up in the shopping and the hustle and the bustle. My grandma passed away this last year and I found myself thinking about her often during the holidays this year. She loved the holidays and I remember as a small child she would bring out her small brown sacks filled with her yummy sugar cookies and an orange. Looking back it is uncanny in my mind that this is what I remember, not huge expensive gifts but something so simple. I loved her.
Christmas was great for me this year. Jaden (my oldest boy) has moved away to college and he was able to come home for 3 weeks during Christmas break, he's a great kid. The little man brings a light to my life I can't really explain. He makes my heart so happy and full and was certainly excited when he came down the steps to see if Santa had left him what he wanted. He was shocked that his list had been completed and his happiness showed throughout the day. I am so grateful for everything I have been given in my life. I LOVE my family. MERRY CHRISTMAS to all and to all a good night. Love, Alisha.

 {UTAH VALLEY UNIVERSITY 2016....} and just like that the high school days are over, the constructions days are over for now and you are moving on to a new chapter in your life. There are visual reminders of you everywhere. I mean I know it's just school and eventually this was going to happen. I realize that...it's just that I miss you desperately. Shoes by the back door, your little white ranger cruizen up the road with your music blaring, your empty bedroom. It takes me back to the days the days of your childhood. I have constantly reminisced this week....the first week of your college career out of town...PROVO.

I worry so much about you....are you navigating things without me there? The same worry comes with pride...pride that you are spreading your wings and growing in new ways...ways that need to happen without me there.

The hardest part about motherhood is for me has been the letting go. It is so hard for me to let go of you without taking a piece of my heart with you. Hard for me to miss moments with you. But sometimes loving someone is doing something hard, the best thing for them - even if it hurts me. I KNOW it's best in my heart but by dang it doesn't make my struggle any less hard.

Reminding myself daily that this is a BLESSING to have the opportunity to watch you grow and move through stages of your life. It's a blessing to watch our kiddos gain their independence and mature.

I love you more than you can imagine. Talking to you throughout your day...hearing your stories...reassuring you that you have made a awesome decision. These are the moments that I will forever hold near to my heart....so HURRY UP FRIDAY...and don't forgot a little piece of my heart left with you on AUGUST 21, 2016... so take care of it will you... as long as your living my baby you'll be. LOVE MOM...and yes a few tears and a headache occured while writing this post.

{Sometimes we think}....we're farmers. It roll around once a year when the men head over to help my dad do cows and work around the farm. My boys love it.

{.....and just like that} the little man turns 8.  He is quite the kiddo with a pretty intense personality. At 8 years old he loves to play Minecraft, read books, hates to be told what to do and likes things done his way or no way, he is I swear the pickiest eater on earth and will only eat a handful of things. He can be so cute and nice at times but boy don't make hime mad or else. This year he decided that he wanted to do a camping party and so him and I came up with a few ideas. Since there was a foot of snow outside we had to compromise and do it inside which made it a little crazy with 13 8 year olds. I am so glad that the little man is mine. Glad you had a good day and a fun party.

{My boys}....love the mountain. They love to Hunt. Fish. Hike. Camp. They love it. So the little man decided for his 8th birthday party he wants an indoor camping adventure. Let the birthday week begin. How can he be 8? That totally blows my mind.  alisha.

{My kids make fun of me}....because I have this thing for old trees. Dead trees with no green. I threaten I am going to bring one home for Christmas next year. I just think they are beautiful. I love seeing beauty outside of the box. Alisha.

{Just another snow storm moving in}.....I am anxiously waiting for much warmer days. I know I shouldn't wish away time but man, the older I get the more I really hate the cold and snow. I really do like the little man tho.

{MLK DAY}.....and no school.  I HAVE A DREAM....

The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.

Faith is taking the first step even when you don't see the whole staircase.

Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter.

Let no man pull you low enough to hate him.

The time is always right to do what is right.

This man had the courage to do what noone else would take on. May we all learn a few life lessons from him.

{Not to great}....when the little man has to make a trip to the ER. He gave me a scare today when he passed out and went limp for a few minutes. A trip to the hospital showed that he was dehydrated, had strep throat and his ears were really red. He is such a stubborn little thing, never mentioned that he even had a sore throat. The doctor couldn't believe that he could have handled the pain without complaining. I guess that explains his nasty breath....so grateful for modern medicine we really are blessed. It makes your momma heart hurt to see your kid so sick.

{This I am sure}....was one of the best Christmas ever for the little man. The whole collection of the DIARY of A WIMPY KID books and a digital money counting machine. I told him it must be magic. He told me that nothing is magic, there is a reason behind everything that works. Okay kid.....i just wanted you to believe in magic.

{Here's to a New Year} Do less.....feel more. 2016 intentions not resolutions.  I've been thinking about this a lot over the past week. Sometimes these thoughts run through my mind  in moments when I feel on top of the world, capable of anything, hopeful for the future, and optimistic. Other times these thoughts run through my mind in moments of self-doubt and critical reflection on the past year. Did I do my best in 2015? Was I the best mother that I could have been?

Every year, as the end of 365 days begins to approach I find myself slipping into split personality mode.

Positive Alisha dances around the house giving my boys surprise giant hugs and thinking cheery thoughts like: Anything is possible. I can start now. I am capable. 2016 is my YEAR.

While negative Alisha wallows, sleeps in to late, wants to stay under the covers all day and think thoughts like: There's so much I need to improve about myself. Where do I even begin this year with my business. It's to overwhelming. I will just be disappointed in myself.

The back and forth is exhausting. It's a personality (slash surely slightly crazy) personality trait I have recognized in myself from a very early age. And sure enough, every year, as the calendar switches to January, I find myself compiling lists, completing journal entries on how this will surely be the year that I finally DO all those things I've been meaning to do.

Sometimes I become consumed by my futile attempts to control every aspect of our home. Easily frustrated. Discouraged. Overwhelmed. Because I really LOVE a controlled environment. I love things done and done my way. I know, not a very good trait.

And then over the last few days, the first few days of January which so far have not been very great. I feel myself stuck in a rut. And then it hit me.

        FEEL MORE....
        DO LESS......this moment right here. Right now. This hug. This trip. These smiles. I want to feel this way more. That's my resolution. That's my intention for 2016. I made a list of ways I want to feel in 2016 (rather than things I need to do  more often). I don't want to feel rushed all the time, overwhelmed, disconnected. I want to feel LOVE, inspired, connected, AT PEACE, understood ( i am a bit complicated).

The way I figure it, if I allow myself to "FEEL" more...the "DOING" part will come. Oh my gosh this is it....the New Year 2016.  Alisha

{Christmas 2015} was so good to us.....I love that we have started doing our own little family traditions and some fun things that the kids look forward to. Christmas was super busy for me this year with my photography business and so I try really hard to stay caught up so that I still have time to do Christmas activities with the kids. This year we had the family up for a Christmas Eve dinner and we ate yummy food and enjoyed great company. Of course, The Christmas Story is a must on Christmas Eve. The little man was so worried that Santa was going to miss him because he never goes to bed, thank heaven for the Santa Tracker.....and it snowed which makes Christmas magical.