{...and just like that my baby turns NINE} Happy Happy Birthday to my shiny brown-eyed, raspy voice, smart little man who grew my heart NINE times a million this very day.

{Sundays}....i have developed a love/hate relationship with you.

{ALWAYS keep the wild in you}.....little man. It makes you who you are.

I sometimes like the snow....brrr.

{CHRISTMAS 2016}.... I have always LOVED Christmas, from the time I was a little girl and the love for it has not dimmed over the years. The music, the decorations, the excitement in the air makes giddy like a small child. This year I really wanted to teach my children that Christmas is more than just christmas lists and presents under the tree. It is so much more even though I find myself getting caught up in the shopping and the hustle and the bustle. My grandma passed away this last year and I found myself thinking about her often during the holidays this year. She loved the holidays and I remember as a small child she would bring out her small brown sacks filled with her yummy sugar cookies and an orange. Looking back it is uncanny in my mind that this is what I remember, not huge expensive gifts but something so simple. I loved her.
Christmas was great for me this year. Jaden (my oldest boy) has moved away to college and he was able to come home for 3 weeks during Christmas break, he's a great kid. The little man brings a light to my life I can't really explain. He makes my heart so happy and full and was certainly excited when he came down the steps to see if Santa had left him what he wanted. He was shocked that his list had been completed and his happiness showed throughout the day. I am so grateful for everything I have been given in my life. I LOVE my family. MERRY CHRISTMAS to all and to all a good night. Love, Alisha.

 {UTAH VALLEY UNIVERSITY 2016....} and just like that the high school days are over, the constructions days are over for now and you are moving on to a new chapter in your life. There are visual reminders of you everywhere. I mean I know it's just school and eventually this was going to happen. I realize that...it's just that I miss you desperately. Shoes by the back door, your little white ranger cruizen up the road with your music blaring, your empty bedroom. It takes me back to the days the days of your childhood. I have constantly reminisced this week....the first week of your college career out of town...PROVO.

I worry so much about you....are you navigating things without me there? The same worry comes with pride...pride that you are spreading your wings and growing in new ways...ways that need to happen without me there.

The hardest part about motherhood is for me has been the letting go. It is so hard for me to let go of you without taking a piece of my heart with you. Hard for me to miss moments with you. But sometimes loving someone is doing something hard, the best thing for them - even if it hurts me. I KNOW it's best in my heart but by dang it doesn't make my struggle any less hard.

Reminding myself daily that this is a BLESSING to have the opportunity to watch you grow and move through stages of your life. It's a blessing to watch our kiddos gain their independence and mature.

I love you more than you can imagine. Talking to you throughout your day...hearing your stories...reassuring you that you have made a awesome decision. These are the moments that I will forever hold near to my heart....so HURRY UP FRIDAY...and don't forgot a little piece of my heart left with you on AUGUST 21, 2016... so take care of it will you... as long as your living my baby you'll be. LOVE MOM...and yes a few tears and a headache occured while writing this post.